After a troubling turn of events in Canton, Ohio, on August 9th, authorities have reported the spread of a new epidemic around the country. This is a very interesting situation and one that medical officials have never seen before, leaving many baffled as to what may be causing it. While there is not yet any kind of cure, medical officials are calling this a fever.

The disease has been temporarily labeled “Pigskin Fever”. Most of the symptoms are still unknown, but early signs of the disease include symptoms such as the painting of one’s face in team’s colors, loud noises, colored hair, and more.

According to leading health officials if affected an individual will need to spend Saturday, Sunday, Monday and the occasional Thursday watching as much football as possible to try and keep the fever under control. It has also been reported that this affliction affects men, women and children at an equal level.

One inflicted victim (“Bob”) described the situation to us. While he had spent most of the summer casually watching NASCAR and baseball, he suddenly changed the station to his local FOX channel and before he knew it, he found himself suited up in a football uniform with his face painted.

Now, his neighbors are all on alert Aside from all of the ornaments he’s littered his front yard with, he found a neighbor carrying a crate of oranges to his door, tackled him, took the oranges, and ran them back to his house across the street before dancing in celebration.

While many will be concerned with trying to get their fill to feed the fever the CDC reports that within one month there will be football in full swing at every level and those affected by this disease should be able to find comfort. If the fever becomes uncontrollable it has been noted that by joining 100,000 or more at any of the major universities in the country will bring immediate relief.

It has also been announced by the Surgeon general that if you are not affected by this disease you should report immediately to your local mental health agency for psychiatric evaluation as it may not be safe for you to be a part of mainstream society.

Having said all that, football is back! I’m one happy man for it!

If you think you may be suffering from these symptoms, we would suggest you head immediately to the NFL football forum at RootZoo Sports, where you can answer NFL trivia questions, play football pick em games, and more.