It’s that time and it only comes once a year. Toss another Yule log on the fax machine and fire up the copier. Christmas in corporate America is on its way. Time to start your suck-up list and that nose ready for a promotion. Don’t get caught flatfooted. As sure as you’re running Outlook, you’ve got a calendar. Start saving up for those corporate Christmas gift now.

Dig the reindeer and the silver bells and the five golden rings. The days are short and the carbs in demand. It’s all about pizza once a week and hello soft pants on the couch. Get hip to that nifty Christmas jingle business.

Sure, it’s corporate America and sure it may not be much longer in the tooth, but you’ve got to think about that promotion anyway. Get cracking on the peanuts and start pooling the pennies for el Heffe. Waste not, want not. So don’t waste this chance to make you and your fellow wage salves look good. Sometimes, you’ve got to take one for the team.

Be a trooper and pitch in for that gift that says you care. Your boss is a human being — mostly. He or she has feelings — at times. Hey, you don’t pitch in you’ll get ratted out anyway, so ante up, hombre. Forsake two days worth of Big Macs and guarantee your job — at least through January.

You can gab and group gift the goods that beloved goober. What’s $200 split 20 ways anyway? Straighten your tie and smooth down your coif. Close out your online solitaire and pretend to read a few emails from your beloved coworkers. You may learn a thing or two, like where your $10 is going. Don’t like it? Lobby for something else. Who says your boss needs a new laptop or Fendi bag? How about a foamy finger or a beer can hat?

It sure ain’t exactly A Chistmas Carol, but you’ve got to pony up for corporate Christmas gifts if you want to stay on this side of easy street.